almost forgot... it's 2006!

There's something funny about a new year. Really, I know there's nothing to it. Big deal, a number has changed. But sometimes these things do feel like a new beginning in a sense. It's easier when you live in the southern hemisphere and each year brings a new stage of education -- I'll be doing second-year level courses this coming year at university. I guess it also helps, in my case, that with my mother's death, it really is the end of an era for me and the beginning of something new. I don't think I can understand at the moment that my mother's soul is no longer firmly ensconsed in her body, and there is no way I can imagine her in heaven. But I miss her a lot already. It seems weird living at home without her, just me and Dad. I've been looking at photos of her and reading people's cards and tributes to her and it all seems so surreal, as I said in my last post. The photo to the right of this is Mum, with one of my nieces. I think it's the last photo anyone ever took of her, and she wasn't very well at that stage, although it was a few weeks before she got really, really, really unwell.

I've never made a point of making new year resolutions; they seem as if they're made to be broken, and I'd usually just forget them. But I wonder if I should this year, as it really is a very significant new beginning for me. I don't want to just make them up, off the cuff, here and now because I don't think they'd be very significant in that case. I'll think about it, and if I alight on any good ones, I'll post them up on here. I guess the main thing that has been running through my brain the last few days is that I don't want to do anything my Mum would be ashamed of.

We-ell, it's been kind of a surreal week. My mother's funeral was on Friday the 30th (see photos above) and turned out really well. The Samoans at my church honoured Mum by putting a tapa cloth over the coffin to show their respect for her. One of the nicest things about the funeral as a whole was how at the gravesite, the kids (grandchildren, vague relatives, and other) let off helium balloons into the sky. It was a beautiful gesture. Apparently Mum had loved that at my aunty's funeral a couple of years ago. It was also just really good to see some sort of physical mirroring of what I think death must be like. It made it sink in a bit more, yet not in a bad, or gloomy, way.

Most of my sisters and brothers have gone back to the respective homes now, or on holiday, except for one sister, Felicity, and her husband, Mike, so I'm just having a relaxing time, reading books (in particular, Zorro by Isabel Allende, and Lost in a Good Book, by Jasper Fforde, and I will start Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe soon, in preparation for my eighteenth century novel course at university this year), watching movies (Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War, Runaway Jury, Whale Rider, Ocean's 11, etc...), going to cafes... I went to Akaroa yesterday with Felicity and Mike and his parents; it's a village quite near Christchurch which is a bit of a holiday destination, being by the sea in a beautiful harbour, having lots of cute wee shops, and milking the French history for all it's worth (on Rue Jolie, even the petrol station is called L'Essence-- puh-lease!). I guess soon I'll have to start sorting out my university details for this year in earnest. Sigh. I feel like being lazy at the moment.

There's something in me that doesn't want to say that my mother died two days ago. I know that if I bare open my soul on here I'll get no response, or even worse, I'll get an email saying "nice blog. please visit my website and buy things". Sometimes it's nice that no one reads my blog (not that I can complain when I don't tell anyone about it), because then I don't have to worry that what I write may offend someone or whatever, but there are times when writing diary entries that are basically private just isn't good enough. I don't want to talk right now except to people that aren't actually around. I miss my friend Katie who is working in Australia over the summer, I miss her a lot, because I don't have to get all emotional talking to her, which I really don't feel right now. People, I think, expect me to be distraught but for some reason I'm not. It was a relief when Mum died. She had been really sick, not herself, for the last few days and that was horrible. But now I just feel weird, like part of me is saying "you horrible heartless person" and another part is saying "you're just at peace and that's fine. Enjoy it while it lasts." It's very strange. It may be just because I know that life doesn't just stop, I really know that my Mum is in heaven, but then there are times when I find it very hard to imagine that. Obviously, no ear has heard, no eye has seen, etc etc what God has in store for those who love him... so it's hard to accept that Mum has really gone from this earth and that her body no longer holds Her. I wasn't there when she died, which may have helped, but I don't regret it.

The funeral is tomorrow and I think I may feel differently during and after that.

ding dong merrily on high

I am back from Dunedin today--not that I told you I was there to begin with. I stayed with my big sister and her husband and three kids. Compared to home, it was very noisy and chaotic but I had fun. It was such a relief to just leave home for five days and not have to face what's going on.

This is a photo I took of their front door which I thought looked nice and red and Christmassy. It's freezing in Dunedin, today it was absolutely pouring, and it's supposed to be summer, but apparently it was gross here too. Boring bus trip back up. When I went down, I was sitting next to a really nice Irish guy called Jay, from County Mead, who doesn't particularly like U2 and was friendly and chatty, and we got seats right at the front of the double decker bus, so had excellent views. This time, coming back, the bus ride was boring and dominated by teenagers a few years younger than me, who I am scornful of, still being very immature myself, and I didn't have to share my seat with anyone. Undoubtedly more comfortable but a lot less interesting.

Christmas is in two sleeps. I'm starting to get excited; I thought I had outgrown that, but I admit it here and now, I love Christmas like I love chocolate. My sister and I went through the Oxford Book of Carols last night, singing by the piano. There are some incredibly cool carols in there that I've never heard of before, from all over the world, some really old, some relatively new. It was just so nice to sing them with someone like Viv who also loves carols and feel happy that it was Christmas time and then drink coffee and eat chocolate and brazil nuts afterwards. Yum. Merry Christmas to anyone who may read this blog. I sincerely hope it's a good one.

honesty is the best policy

Thought for the day: I think many Christians have a big problem with honesty. We feel this need to perform, to present a happy, fulfilled and peaceful face to the world, as if by showing everyone how perfect we are, they'll want to become like us. I reckon that's the opposite of the truth. If we just told the truth, for once, that we are desperately screwed-up, doubting, foolish, weak, tired people rather than happy-clappy, iron-clad superhumans, I think we'd be a lot more attractive. Especially as everyone already knows we're not perfect. We'd get less comments about hypocrites in the church.

So I have resolved to be a person who doesn't have to put on this face to go to church. Some churches make me feel guilty for feeling unhappy. "What a beautiful day this is! Let's just praise and praise and praise the Lord!" (or something like that) I don't see why I should be expected to be perfectly peaceful and content with life as it is now. I firmly believe that my every desire and need is not going to be fulfilled on this earth. 'I still haven't found what I'm looking for.' Some people look at that perspective as if it's sacrilege but if we were just honest and admitted that we're not in heaven yet, there'd be a lot less depressed people who think they can't be Christians because they haven't managed to deceive themselves into thinking that everything's candy floss in their lives.

a long interval

Hello again. I realise I haven't been on here for ages. Just with Mum sick and everything, it's been kinda stressful and I don't really want to talk about or even write much. She's not too well, really, it's been horrible seeing her sick and it can only go downhill from here. Yeah. Well.

I haven't been working like most other uni students. It's probably part laziness, part that I can't find anything that suits travel/hours-wise, and part that I just don't need any more stress right now. It annoys me, however, that I meet people, say from uni or something who are all working their butts off, or people from elsewhere, and they ask me if I'm working--I say no, and you can see them pegging it down to pure laziness in their minds, which drives me INSANE, because it's not like I'm going to fish for sympathy off random people I hardly know and so I can't justify myself for bludging off the government. Oh well. I might be doing some busking after Christmas, I hope so anyway because that would be lots of fun! And I'll be doing some babysitting in January for my sister.

BIG NEWS, anyhow: I GOT U2 tickets!!!!!! Triumph. At last. Sweet victory. They are coming to Auckland, New Zealand on March 17 next year, supported by Kanye West (of all people). I thought I'd be ecstatic but I keep worrying that something will go wrong and I won't be able to use my ticket or something horrid like that. :( I got access to a presale, because my friend and I joined U2.com for precisely that purpose earlier this year! So there were no problems getting tickets! I am so lucky. Thank you God. The horrible thing about getting so worried about getting tickets (cos I was panicking I wouldn't be able to) is that I was thinking, can I pray to God for tickets? or will that kind of jinx it because I'm being materialistic? And I wanted them SO badly. But I was so happy to finally get them because I think it shows that God isn't like that, he doesn't mind if I get things sometimes that make me happy, especially at a time like this. So big fuzzies to God right now.

50th blog

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me... or my blog. My birthday was actually 6 days ago now. I am a big nineteen year old, and my blog is a big 50-post old. For some reason it feels like I've done way more posts than that... but I suppose my blog dashboard does not lie.

My last exam was yesterday, hooray for that. It was horrid, but I don't care anymore really. I think I managed to bluff my way through allright, and I actually managed to answer all four essay questions, which was more than I expected.

Have had a great last week and a bit--my brother and sister-in-law have come from Malaysia with their three kids. It's been so much fun. They just left for Dunedin today but will be back in Christchurch in about a week. The kids are soooo cute, so well-behaved, so friendly. One of them I have never seen before, he's only five months old, and he's LOVELY. I think I'll kidnap him before they leave.

thank goodness for shopping

Today I have sampled the delights of shopping, with my friend Sarah, who you will see in the photo with me at the top of this webpage. It has been the best day I've had for a while. I had $120 to spend on anything I felt like and it felt goooooood. I had the yummiest souvlaki ever for lunch without feeling guilty at not packing myself a lunch of corn beef sandwiches and a packet of raisins. I bought the Bono on Bono book I've been wanting for ages, sheet music for 6 Brooke Fraser songs (a singer from New Zealand), a Georgette Heyer novel (Black Sheep), and The Killers' CD, Hot Fuss. And I still have $25 left over--I don't know how I did it actually!

Minor setback in otherwise glorious day encountered about 6:00pm, when my music conductor told us he wants to film us playing corny jazzed-up version of Good King Wencelas, wearing Santa hats, and saying "Merry Christmas New Zealand!" at the end. On the news last night they asked people to send in Christmas greetings they would play at the end of every 6.00-7.00 show. Of course he had to take part. :( However, was already in a good mood, so managed to laugh about it.

capital capital

[see above] I couldn't think of anything to put in the subject heading and so I've quoted Sir William Lucas from Pride and Prejudice. :)

I got a headache and a really sore throat last night so I was lying in bed panicking, thinking I had meningitis or something, wondering if I should tell someone or if I was just being paranoid. Turns out: just being paranoid. I've never really done that before; one of my friends used to do it all the time. She'd be like: "I have a headache! Oh NO I've got a brain tumour!" I wonder if I'm becoming more highly strung as I get older and she's chilling out...

It's my 19th BIRTHDAY tomorrow! It's kind of depressing that I don't get so excited about them as I used to, I guess, but it's also quite nice that I can just relax. Well, relatively relax, I have an exam the day after. Sigh. :( But I'm meeting up with friends at a really nice cafe in the afternoon, have said no presents, don't mind if people can't come... etc etc --> I'm getting very mature. It's turning out to be a bit bigger than I expected - I invited about 27 people and a lot of them can come. Hmmm. I wonder if I should try and book a table(s). Mum and Dad have ordered a big cheesecake there for us to share, which is really nice. Hope it goes well.

here I am again

... for the third time tonight. I just don't know what's come over me. :)

Two things:

The first is this: go visit the website some other hopeful authors and I have made! We accept outside submissions...! You know you want to...! It's under my official links, but I'll put a link on this post as well: www.halfwaydownthestairs.net It is an e-zine of fiction, poetry and non-fiction... in the words of Mr Cliche, there's something for everyone.

Second thing: I've been missing my school hymn at the moment. These are the words. It is to the tune of the slow bit from Finlandia, by Sibelius (one of my favourite classical pieces):

We rest on Thee, our Shield and our Defender,
We got not forth alone against the foe,
Strong in Thy strength, safe in Thy keeping tender,
We rest on Thee, and in Thy name we go.

Yes, in Thy name, O Captain of Salvation!
In Thy dear name, all other names above!
Jesus our Righteousness, our sure Foundation,
Our Prince of Glory, and our King of Love.

We go in faith, our own great weakness feeling,
And needing more each day Thy grace to know,
Yet from our hearts, a song of triumph pealing,
We rest on Thee, and in Thy name we go.

We rest on Thee, our Shield and our Defender,
Thine is the battle, Thine shall be the praise,
When passing through the gates of pearly splendour,
Victors, we rest with Thee through endless days.

stats

When one looks up the following words on the blogspot blog search, one finds the following amount of blogs that mention these words:

U2: 191,004
Austen: 21,541
U2 Austen: 112 (and my posts made up a large percentage of these)
Colin Firth: 7,927

I wonder if U2 will have the same sort of amount of hits as Jane Austen in 200 years time, even though they have more? Something in me doubts it. That's the problem with electronica. There's something so perfect, so lasting, so permanent in a book.

This is an excerpt that interested me, from the Bono on Bono book:

Essence has to manifest itself. It's inevitable. Love has to become an
action or something concrete. It would have to happen. There must be an
incarnation. Love must be made flesh.

Just in case that's illegal, I will cite this for you... in a very tentatively professional way-- Assayas, Michka (ed.), Bono on Bono (London, 2005, Hodder and Stoughton), p.125

Sorry about how random this post is. I'm having an enjoyable evening rambling around doing nothing of importance.

people are nice

It's really lovely how when people know that times are a bit rough for you, they're extra nice. I guess I could take it in a very bad way if I was bitter. But I'm not; people are being very nice to me, and thoughtful, and I'm really appreciative of it. Today two of my friends from Navs (the uni Christian group I'm a member of) turned up at home, carrying a huge yummy roast chicken--it's delicious! The other day my friend Natalie rang up and said that a few of them are going to pool resources and take me out for lunch for my birthday present. The family has been great, Rachel made me a birthday cake because she thought it was sad I had to make my own. Felicity took me out for lunch and cafes and stuff several times. It's definitely not just GIVING me stuff, too; people have been really nice in general.

I had my first exam today, it actually went pretty well. So I'm feeling quite good about it. I was worried that if I'm not be able to get an aegrotat I'd completely bomb out, but I don't think I have. It also feels good to be able to make a good effort and do allright despite probably getting an aegrotat--I don't feel conscience-stricken.

grrr study

I'm finding it very hard to study right now. Of course, a major reason is that study is simply very boring. Another: I can't concentrate much because of Mum. Another: I think I'll be able to get an aegrotat so it's hard to motivate myself. But I know that I'd be annoyed with myself if I didn't try hard to do well etc etc.

My sister gave me a gorgeous necklace for my birthday. It's a big round paua pendant (paua is a shell you find in New Zealand that is bright blueish and kind of shiny and swirly, like how petrol goes when it drips on the ground), with black beads. It's really nice, I wore it properly last night for the first time and I love it! It's v cool.

I'm so annoyed, I lost my Coldplay X & Y CD. I have no idea where it is. I still have the case! Last time I remember listening to it, I put it in the stereo in the lounge while I was cooking something, and from then on, I haven't seen it. I really miss it. Luckily I taped it, for driving in the car, so if I'm desperate I can always listen to that.

hmm

I found out yesterday that my mother is probably/almost certainly going to die in the near future.

I do not want to talk about it
I do not want to confront it
I do not want to think about it

Quite yet, anyway.

A lot of my immediate family have turned up this weekend from elsewhere in the country which has been great. It was two of my sisters who actually told me about It. They thought no one had told me how serious It was (they were right) and that I needed to know. My brother is coming next weekend from Malaysia. My sister was coming from Australia in 3 weeks anyway, but she will probably end up coming earlier. So I suppose that's nice, although a little depressing.

This is definitely not a time for study. If I don't get that aegrotat I'll be screwed. But I don't really care. Three and a half days till my first exam, and I've only done half my notes. A week till my birthday; happy birthday to me.

God is good

He actually is. When I got home yesterday, I found a package waiting for me -- I had won a competition with the local newspaper and I am now the owner of a big book of photos of my region, Canterbury. It's a beautiful book, and the thing that made me enter was that some of the sample photos they showed in the review of it were of the very same things I took photos of when I went on my road trip with Eva in the Easter holidays. The one time I win something, it's when I'm feeling really really down and need to be cheered up, which makes me think that God had something to do with it and maybe there isn't such a thing as luck and chance.

This photo here is one of the photos I took on our trip that is featured in the book -- well, the little hut is, not MY photo in particular. That was an incredible day, we went to Mount Cook, which was so much more amazing than I had expected, not having seen it for about ten years. On the way back, there was the most beautiful late afternoon light, and we stopped and took this photo on the side of the road.

heave a sigh

I am hating study. I'm finding it really hard to concentrate on it, what with Mum being sick and everything (she had to go into hospital again yesterday), and then there's just the fact that it's boring. I'm going to apply for an aegrotat for my first exam, but you have to actually DO it first, and I'm not sure if I'll get it, so I still have to study hard. I would anyway; it would be silly not to try.

I had a pretty good day yesterday considering. I went to see the new Pride and Prejudice movie. Didn't really like it in comparison to the book and the BBC version. They tried to make it too moody and emotional, it moved too fast which meant it wasn't believable really, and they made the Bennets look quite poor, in a totally run-down manor, which I just couldn't fit into the Jane Austen squares in my head. My friends liked it, and accused me of being biased. Of course I am. I did think that Mr Collins was good, and Mr Bingley, but Mr Bennet was terrible -- they missed the whole POINT of his character, in my opinion. And they totally misinterpreted some characters such as Georgiana Darcy. I thought Mr Darcy and Elizabeth were okay, but just not as good as the previous ones. I don't think anyone could play it as well as Colin Firth. Matthew MacFadyen lacked subtlety, in my humble opinion. He mistook 'proud' for 'wooden' too much. So yeah, that's my opinion. It was only the genius of Jane Austen that had to come through somewhere that made it tolerable for me.

Then in the evening I went round to someone from my small group's house for dinner, with the rest of the small group. Fantastic food! Annette is a marvel. I don't know how she does it. Then we all did Singstar, which was fun fun fun. I wasn't really in the mood for it all, but it was nice to be distracted.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend, which does not bode well for my study, because Viv and Greg + kids are coming up from Dunedin, and Felicity and Mike are coming down from Auckland (and Rachel and Tony are already here!). I think it's mainly to see Mum, but I'll be so happy to see them again. I miss my sisters and brothers a lot at the moment.

i hate exams

Now that my lovely blob weekend is over, I'm having trouble getting into study--how surprising. It is SO boring. The problem is that my first exam, which is in about nine days, is going to be a complete nightmare - eight essays, two of which will be quite in-depth, and no hints on topics, which means we have to study the whole blimming topic and not just skim over it (American History). The exam for Shakespeare will be much better, I think, but that's scary too because I haven't read Henry V yet, and I keep putting it off. It's a bit odd how the more I panic about something, the more I ignore doing the preparation for it. I guess I don't want to admit how much work I have to do, because then I'd have to actually DO it. :)

Two of my sisters emailed me yesterday asking me how I was, what with Mum and everything. One even offered to fly me up to Auckland after exams for a bit of a holiday with her, and her husband. I'm actually fine, I think, but I really appreciated that they emailed me. I love my family. Can't wait for Christmas, when they're almost all coming back, and the only one who isn't is visiting in November.

My school friends and I had another prayer meeting last night, at Marielle's house. We've started having one every Monday. They're so fantastic, calming, etc... also means we get to see each other outside of birthday parties, and we hear everything that's going on, which is very nice. But it was just so great praying with everyone-- encouraging, peaceful, all that stuff... It's after times like that when I really don't get why some people don't think they could ever become Christians - you know, the type of people who go, "well, it's great you've found something to live for, and you've found your truth, but it's just not for me." Tosh. (Tosh is a great word!) It's for everyone. That's the coolest part. Or one of the coolest parts. Anyway, I just don't think people realise the contradictions they live under. The idea that truth is not absolute, that anything you believe is a truth is the scariest idea. And as soon as someone robs them or rapes their daughter, they're shouting for justice. It doesn't make sense, they say things because they like the sound of them, and then, at the times when they are being most true to themselves, they contradict things they've previously said. I also think karma is a scary thing. Sure, I believe that when someone does something, good or bad, they will generally get some sort of compensation or punishment for it, eventually. However, the reasoning that this is entirely a good thing escapes me. You've got to be entirely convinced of your own perfection to believe that and think it's a good thing... and I am so not perfect. I wonder if I wasn't under grace, what things would come round to me in the future? I shudder to think of it. Eugh. That's why I love the U2 song called Grace. She travels outside of karma ... grace makes beauty out of ugly things ... I love those words.

Another U2 song I love that I've only discovered recently... Wake Up Dead Man. And Running to Stand Still, and 40, and that one on The Joshua Tree whose name I can't remember right now that talks about the hands of love. :) Whenever I ask myself what U2 song I like the best, I can't quite decide. It's different with Jane Austen, Persuasion is definitely my favourite novel of hers, although obviously I love all the others. But I think if I had to choose five or so U2 songs, they'd probably be: All I Want Is You, Desire, One, Bad and In A Little While (yup, the slow ones mostly, I'm sorry to say!). The only song that I would be REALLY disappointed not to see live in concert is Where the Streets Have No Name. But once I've chosen those five favourites, all the others kind of blur. If I think of one over another, I feel guilty. There's ones like Pride that I just think are so classic, so amazing musically, so different. That chorus is just so different to anything else that's around, in its chords and its majorness and everything... if that's understandable. Then I think about the less famous ones like Numb or Discotheque that are just so cool. They're so surprising, they sneak up on you before you realise how cool they are. I love the Rattle and Hum movie. Apparently a lot of people hated it, the band included, but I love it a lot because it's so cool to see U2 back in the day when they weren't quite yet this fully established, mega-band that I've only recently come to love. I had only seen the Elevation tour on DVD before I saw Rattle and Hum. The energy's still there now, but I think having seen something of them in the 80's, I can now understand them a bit better now. Especially Adam.

Anyway I'm going to stop waffling and go and do some study. Sigh. I read in the Bono on Bono book, this weekend, that Bono was going to do an English and History degree like me, but got kicked out of uni for some reason two weeks into the course. So I guess I'd better take advantage of my education... :) I feel responsible.

another party

My gosh I am an exciting person. Last time I posted on here I had just been to a party and this time too : this afternoon I went to my nephew's fifth b'day party. :) How fun. I got to eat little kid food like cheerios on toothpicks, cheezels, skewered strawberries/marshmallows, and triangles of bread with hundreds and thousands on them; I even got a goodie bag at the end (granted, it was only because one little kid didn't turn up!). So very exciting. Poor little Alex was rather tired or over-excited though because he was VERY irritable, ditto with his big brother. They fought over everything. The lolly scramble was a shambles because almost all the little kids complained that some people had more lollies than others (which I thought was kinda silly when the whole point of a lolly scramble is that it's every man for himself), but there was one very sweet little boy who calmly gave every other complaining boy one of his own lollies until he only had about two left.

Alex got some really cool presents. One of them was these dinosaur bones encased in plaster, and you have to dig them out so you can make the dinosaur! So cool. I always wanted to be an archaeologist. Another present was a cheap camera with a film; that would have been my dream present when I was a kid. I gave him this voice distorter which I thought looked really fun--and it was, but just really loud and high-pitched, with heaps of background static, so I hope my sister and her husband still like me now. :)

My mum has just been in hospital for a couple of nights which hasn't been nice, exactly, but she's back home now, and seems pretty good. It wasn't anything majorly dangerous, but the issue is what could be causing it. (She's had cancer for the last five or so years, with it coming back lots of times, although most of the treatment has been pretty successful. So whenever something's weird with her, they need to check it out pretty thoroughly.)

I'm having a lovely blob weekend. Uni has finished for the year -- apart from exams, of course. I handed in two essays on Thursday and Friday, and there was NO way I was going to get straight into studying. I'm trying not to think about it, actually. The depressing thing is, as soon as exams are over, I'm going to have to get a job. Sigh. I went round town and a few malls dropping off my CV at various places yesterday, actually. I hope I can get something that isn't too many hours because most of my family is coming back to Christchurch for Christmas and I don't want to be working my butt off while they have fun. Anyway, wish me luck.

party party party

I went to a fiftieth birthday party last night; it was fantastic. Had such a great time! It was for a guy from my church, and a lot of Samoans from my church were there also; they started up a big Samoan dance, and it was velly fun. It was hilarious watching the rather tough (but secretly sweet) guy whose birthday it was (he is a prison warden, an ambulance driver, and a sheep shearer) dancing island-style with a lei around his neck. :)

I'm feeling a little anxious about work and study and everything; I have two essays due this week, on Thursday and Friday, and exams start pretty soon--my first is on the 26th. It's weird, both of the essays this time I'm writing on women issues, which I usually find really boring and overdone, but I'm finding them really interesting this time. Granted, they're both set a few years back in history (one in Shakespearean society, to do with Othello, and one in 1920-1940 in USA), which is probably the reason. I get so hacked off with feminists today who make everything a big deal. Someone told me that in a textbook he has, someone says that the words "broadcaster" and "master copy" are sexist terms, on a par with terrible words such as "chairman" and "mankind". Puh-lease. Get a grip. Life's too short. I think the really extreme feminists must think everyone else is always thinking about them and how they can most insult them. THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU, YOU STUPID FEMINIST LADY.

Having said that, I consider myself a feminist in a moderate sense. I am quite happy to use the terms "master copy" and "chairman" because I personally do not invest any sexist meaning in them. But I very often think that men are very silly, and that women come off a lot better in history. Look at some of the most important characters in the history of Christianity: King David, Peter, Moses. All of them made pretty huge mistakes at points. Compare that with Esther, Ruth, Mary. Of course everyone makes mistakes. But some of these people made them on a much grander scale than women. :) I take great pride in that.

Flanders and Swann

...are the best. I listened to both records my family own last night, back to back. It was so nice, after having a hard day, working flat out studying. They are so amusing. And every time I listen, I get a new joke, despite having been brought up on them and listening to the same shows x number of times.

For all you heathens, Flanders and Swann are British comedians from the 50s. They wrote a lot of songs that are fantastic - Swann was a great pianist/composer and Flanders wrote the words - and they also did a kind of stand-up comedy, well, Flanders did. They're very British, very 1950s, but I love them. :) When we learnt about the first and second laws of thermodynamics in Biology, I didn't bother listening because I knew it all already - from them. It's scary as well, the more I learn at uni, the more I see what it was they were talking about - they make plenty of references to Shakespeare (Flanders calls Swann 'Caliban' at one point, for example) and history. So that's all very exciting. Shows how useful a university education can be!