Wednesday, September 20, 2006

now let the pessimism shine through

Things I dislike:

1) Using a public toilet someone's just walked out of. I prefer pretending they are reserved for me alone. On a similar note, I hate it when the bathrooms are so busy you can't choose which toilet you want to use.
2) People peeking at your computer screen to see what you're writing when you're in a uni computer lab. Uh-huh... that's you. Girl in the green t-shirt.
3) Narrow-mindedness or very very very strong opinions... even if I agree with them, this is likely to annoy me.
4) People who talk very loudly and make me want to shrink.
5) Name-dropping/talent-dropping/asset-dropping... except when I do it.
6) "Mature students" at university who ask too many questions and annoy everyone by sharing their "knowledge".
7) People who take the lift down one flight of stairs. I mean, even I am not that lazy.
8) People who say "Let's pray," give you about a nanosecond to drop whatever you're doing before plunging headfirst with them into what Adrian Plass has aptly named the "shampoo position" of prayer.
9) Seeing people who made me feel uncomfortable at school and still do.
10) Criticism.
11) Work. Especially the hard variety.
12) "Worship" music.
13) People who sing slightly out of tune or bang a tambourine slightly behind the beat.
14) Choir conductors who forget themselves and start yelling at/singing along with/shushing their choirs in the middle of a concert... no, actually, that's funny. I like them.
15) Preachy songs that come out every now and again from some annoying band who spend the rest of their time writing songs with titles like "Let's Get Retarded". And yes, I have a particular band in mind.
16) International students who think it's okay to talk loudly in the library at exam time just because we can't understand them.
17) The rule against bringing coffee into the university library.
18) University of Canterbury Arts department staff cuts.
19) People who always greet you the same way. "How's Alison?" "ALISON!!!" "Hiiiiiii Alliiiiiieeee!"
20) Making my bed.
21) People who don't understand the concept of personal space.
22) Songs like "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam".
23) People who say, "so you're doing Arts?..." [disapproving silence] "But what are you going to do with it?"
24) People who dance in church or raise hands with ecstatic close-eyed face and shout "Hallelujah, yes, Lord." I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. It just makes me feel all hot around the collar.
25) People who insist on telling you the story of their weekend in all its dissipated glory. "I got so pissed I couldn't walk! Haw haw haw!" Please listen to me - tell it to someone who cares! Please! I don't give a toss that you're the biggest loser since the pastel-colour-suited Richard Clayderman!
26) On a similar note: engineering students. Most of them.
27) Names like Engelbert Humperdinck. (Is that how you spell it?) Actually, that's just kind of funny. I think his parents should have bought fish instead. You can call fish anything.
28) Books like The Da Vinci Code which everyone says are works of genius and then turn out to be terribly written and bollocks.
29) People who don't get funny people/books like Flanders and Swann or Adrian Plass or Jasper Fforde and look at you like you haven't grown up yet.
30) People who tell you the tragic endings of books you haven't read yet but were planning to. Hello Dad. Hello Viv. Someday, vengeance will be mine.

That's all I could think of at the moment. Yes, this is how I spend my precious free time.


Stacy said...

Great list, Allie!

As for #6, that was always a pet peeve of mine in school. In an English literature class my second year of university, we had the world's biggest butt kisser in the front row. You could just tell he spent hours before each class researching whatever people smarter than him had to say about the poem(s) assigned that day. One day, during a discussion of Coleridge's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" this guy was sharing all of this random information about the migratory patterns of the albatross. Our professor stopped, gave the kid a really strange look, and said, "How DO you know so much about albatrosses?" He got very embarrassed, and I became very amused.

As for #13, we couldn't sit together in a church service. I'm always out of tune when I sing. I try to sing quietly so noone notices, but I'm not sure if I succeed.

Patty said...

public toilets-yuck! i always put a bunch of toilet paper down on the seats and try not to touch anything. gross.

my algebra teacher talks very loudly, but she is funny and at least she keeps me alert, focused and awake. i'd hate to have a boring monotonous teacher.

come on people use the stairs! i agree, allie.

criticism on what? give specific examples.

even though i don't drink coffee, i'd support coffee in the library.

i usually make my bed and don't mind doing so. since it's hot, i just have a huge comfy blanket folded in two(on top of some sheets and a pillow) and sleep in between, so i just have to fold the corner back up when i get out of bed. although, i have no problem leaving my bed messed up if i feel like it.

did someone specific invade your personal space?

what's wrong with the engineer students there? my dad is an engineer and he has loved and worked hard at his job for over 22 years. though, he wore an expensive calculator on his belt during college *cough,geek*. hehehe. but that is a good thing. he fixes computers, electronics, etc. i couldn't live without him.

yah, i don't like people who feel the need to tell the endings of movies/stories. those idiots!

i like your list, i will make one of my own when i have time.

Sarah said...

Allie, if you hate public toilets - you should go to China and try one of those squatters! Yuck. I'll have to show you a photo I took of one. Lol. Write to me!

ellesappelle said...

Stacy - don't worry, it's only when people sing out of tune and think they're Whitney Houston or someone that it bothers me! And currently my dad is playing the piano and singing along at the top of his voice and he's no virtuoso but I still love him!

Patty - teachers are okay who talk loudly. My favourite lecturer, who takes my history class, is so passionate about his subject that he gets really excited, which is lovely. It's more when you're discussing your love life or religious beliefs or whatever with someone and they fail to realise you're sitting in a crowded cafe and everyone within a ten-mile radius can hear you (as Fred and George Weasley say in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix!).
Criticism in general, on anything! No, I've managed to handle constructive criticism on writing by now (thank you Stacy) but just about everything else... can't handle!
And nothing is wrong with engineers - it just so happens that engineering students at my uni are often drunken anti-arts students :)

Sarah: Don't worry, I have a very clear picture in my mind! From now on I will appreciate every public toilet I use. All the same, at least you don't have to sit on squatter toilets :)