Monday, June 11, 2007

My Great Idea

I have had The Idea! (being the idea that makes me a few million dollars) Yesterday someone told me about this big scientific project on the French-Swiss border. Basically, a whole lot of scientists who have too much money to spend (it has cost eight billion so far) have built a huge underground circular track. When it is finished they are going to get two protons going in the opposite direction, speed them up as close as possible to the speed of light, and finally get them to crash. The idea is that this will cause a sort of mini Big Bang and they'll be able to study the effects of it to see what happened at the beginning of the world.

Okay, so that's in very unscientific language and it's probably better, if you're really interested in the actual science, to follow the link above and see how the Boston Globe puts it. But for my purposes, the basics are all that's important, because I have found the perfect concept for a sci-fi movie! My first thought was maybe that the mini Big Bang could turn out to be actually a very big Big Bang and destroy the planet, but that doesn't allow for much action, so instead, this is what will happen:

A very beautiful but independent female scientist called Tamara will be heading this operation, with the aid of a lot of goofy sidekicks in white coats. There will be a handsome activist called Bronson protesting that the experiment can only lead to catastrophe, but she will ignore him and forge ahead with the plan, buried in the mountains below, as the article says, "bucolic countryside of dairy farms and rustic villages set against the snow-capped Alps". Unfortunately, when the two protons collide, there will be an actual Big Bang as there was at the beginning of our world, and this will create life - but the life of an evil organism hostile to man and greedy for power. Say, a cross between Godzilla and ewoks in appearance. As the ewillas set about destroying the pretty little Swiss farms and killing milkmaids, Tamara will discover that only Bronson has the skills to turn back time and rid the world of ewillas (this is easily explained, his father was a mad scientist or an alien abductee or something) and they will join forces to fight back. Fighting back will involve several near death experiences in which Tamara's clothing will have to be soaked and Bronson will have to carry her out of a cave or something just as a bomb is going off. There will be some very inappropriate moment, ie just as the ewillas are about to blow Bronson up, when Bronson and Tamara's eyes will meet and they will fall in love. Finally, just as the ewillas are ten seconds away from destroying humanity, Tamara will have a brainwave, and reverse the 2nd Big Bang by throwing protons at the ewillas - but in doing so, she will sacrifice herself, leaving Bronson heartbroken, sobbing over her body.

Edit (12 June): Or, here's an alternative ending. One of the goofy sidekicks, Norm, will turn out to be in love with Tamara. He will grab the protons off her at the end and sacrifice himself instead of her, so Bronson and Tamara can get married and have lots of babies. But at the very end, as Bronson and Tamara walk happily down a Swiss village street holding an infant, and preferably walking a dog, the audience will see an ewilla who escaped Norm's attack following them with a nasty expression on its face (that is, if ewillas have faces) - thereby creating the possibility of a sequel!

Okay, so perhaps the ending needs some work by someone who actually knows something about science - but the basics are there!

So, please contact my agent for information about how you too can be a part of certain blockbuster success. I accept all major credit cards. Oh, and here's my question for you - who should play Tamara, Bronson and Norm???

6 comments:

JenKneeBee said...

Ha! you crack me up :)

Stacy said...

Sounds like a winner to me! Be sure to send your script to Orlando Bloom. He'd be a natural Bronson!

LEstes65 said...

Oh darling, your ending need not align with actual scientific possibilities. That would counter everything Hollywood has ever done. PLEASE! Never worry about whether it's actually feasable. Just go with all the funny writers you have access to here. I'm thinking that the combination of Stacy, Trish, Sara & Beck could solidify your perfect ending.

I totally laughed out loud at the name "ewillas".

ellesappelle said...

Jenkneebee: why thank you. :)

Stacy: You're right, Orlando Bloom would excel in such a role!

Lynette: Thank you, I feel very relieved.

slskenyon said...

I can see the possibilities are endless with this one. I, unfortunately, do not have any casting suggestions at the present, but if I come up with any, I'll pass them on ASAP.

Bonsai said...

hahaha now the last post i read makes sense lol. very good, im impressed :)