Tuesday, January 30, 2007

egg-cradling

Grieving sister or brother, if you need some tangible comfort after the loss of a loved one, why not buy a Loving Remembrance Musical Egg? Studded with rhinestones and playing Amazing Grace, it is guaranteed to bring peace to your heart with the poem enscribed on it:
If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven,
And bring you home again.
After all, there is nothing like cradling a singing egg to bring closure, and for only $34.98, it's a steal.

Also, have you ever worried about your favourite superhero's religious affiliation? Well, there's an answer! The Religion of Comic Book Characters website will let you know exactly what religion, nay, denomination Superman, Captain America or Wonder Woman are. No more will you agonise over whether your children should be reading their exploits, for you will know in whose name they fight for justice. Beware of all the lapsed Catholics.

Or if you have taken the plunge and declared yourself celibate until marriage, why not really go for gold and buy Wait Wear? If by some horrible mischance a member of the opposite sex gets so far as to see your underwear, he or she will be suddenly confronted with a firm and resounding "No Vows No Sex" or "Traffic Control: Wait for Marriage" printed boldly on the front of your undies. Chastity belts have never been so modern!

2 comments:

Stacy said...

How funny! The Wait Wear is definitely my favorite.

JenKneeBee said...

You crack me up! I definately gotta get me some of those undies :)