1) This morning I found a crop circle in our marmite jar. (Cue spooky Twilight Zone music)
2) I also read on the back of my shampoo bottle: "Many scholars believe that the Pomegranate was the 'forbidden' fruit Eve tasted in the Garden of Eden." Yeah. Sure. The bottle also says "Wildly Exciting Is Our Normal!"
3) The other day someone walked up to me, went "Hiiiiii!", waved in my face as if I was their best buddy they hadn't seen for five years - and I have absolutely no idea who they were! I just kind of squinted at them for a very long five seconds before they realised I was completely bewildered and walked off.
4) I just saw an ad on TV that basically said, if you buy insurance from us, you will have a long, successful and fulfilling life - in words, not just implication! And I realised that basically every ad says this but I hardly ever notice it! Am I deconditioned and blind to manipulative advertising?
5) Before seeing this ad, I spent about ten minutes wondering in what environments does the past simple regular suffix become a whole extra syllable in English. It's driving me mad. I think it's only after a voiceless alveolar plosive... but I'm not sure. I just can't think of enough data. Quick, someone! Rescue me from Linguistics before it's too late! It's too fascinating!