Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
My sister started me off with this one: "If you use Solagard solar heating, cute little frogs will come and live in your bathroom."
Schick Quattro razors for men: "Whenever you use this razor, women will fall off treadmills."
My favourite so far was advertised on the rural Australian channel while I was in the countryside, for Statewide Steel. Basically, "at Statewide Steel, we employ hot girls wearing next to nothing, because steel is sexy and manly".
V50 shampoo: "Bad hair is just as much a medical emergency as a coma or heart attack."
Lamb: "If you can only find a partner who loves eating lamb as much as you do, you will live happily ever after."
Sleepyhead beds: "If you wake up in the morning looking fresh, well-rested and fabulous, immediately go and purchase a new Sleepyhead bed."
Particularly sentimental ads in New Zealand tend to come from insurance companies, such as State: "Buying insurance at State means you will have a very long, fulfilled and balanced life."
or AMI: "At AMI, we are responsible for every smile that passes from one person to another in New Zealand."
Special K breakfast cereal: "If you are one of those annoying freaks who must needs take part in every health food fad, we are the cereal for you."
"If you eat Special K [and exercise and diet and have lipo] you could lose 1kg every week! Miraculous!"
Telecom Broadband: "If you don't get your children highspeed broadband internet with Telecom, you are failing them in their educational needs, and they will never get to university."
Well, I'm sure you've got the picture after that and have seen basically the same ads for many different products, many different times. What else do the ads on your television channels tell you?
Sunday, September 09, 2007
It was inevitable that they get arrested, all five comedians and six other people in their crew. But it really makes the whole APEC thing a lot more fun, don’t you think? And of course the television shows which have been targeted in the past by The Chaser are having a field day, with great headlines such as "This time The Chaser goes TOO FAR!!!" in deathly serious voices. Personally, I think that perhaps instead of blaming The Chaser for being irresponsible, they should instead look at how somehow some pranksters managed to get through that many checkpoints that were touted as being so high in security without being stopped.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Here I am at "Nature's Window" in Kalbarri National Park on Sunday, one of The places you have to go to have your photo taken in the park. I don't mean to make it sound touristy, because it's amazing. Red, red earth, huge cliffs and whopping natural formations. Fossilised remains of creatures that could be over 450 million years old. And a heck of a lot of flies. To be fair, I chose the right time to come; in February or March, it's much worse. But even in September there are enough to seriously bug you. No pun intended. Unfortunately, I chose an inopportune moment to open my mouth, walking back to the coach, and a fly flew right in there - I had no choice but to swallow it in the end, and I cannot describe how disgusting that is. Probably I don't need to, you will all be gagging away happily at the thought of my suffering. I took a small coach tour in, which was a good idea, because the roads are very rough and it was nice to do it with some other people. Apart from the fly incident, it was absolutely fantastic.
In the early afternoon, an Aussie girl in my dorm cornered me and got me to drive her down to the local surfer's beach near the Kalbarri township. I wasn't too keen at first but I am so glad I went because it was beautiful. Apparently a low moving up the coast meant there was some pretty awesome surfing to be had, and this beach was remarkable because these huge waves were crashing right by the shore - this photo doesn't show the biggest one but if you look closely you might be able to see the little surfer riding the wave. It was also an amazingly interesting beach to take photos of; as well as the predictable sand and dunes there was this big flat rocky bit right by the sea, with these little pools in it.
Later that afternoon, I drove around the Kalbarri coast for a couple of hours (after having shaken the Aussie girl because I wanted some alone time), stopping at all the viewing platforms for the coastal gorges. I hadn't expected them to be that special because some people at the backpackers had been a little dismissive of them, but they were wonderful. It's hard to show in a photo how colossal that cliff is, and how massive those waves are, hurtling in.
In the evening I went and got pizza in the township and then spent a relaxing evening reading books and checking email, etc etc. The next morning (Monday), I got up as early as possible, resisted all hints from Aussie Girl that I drive her south (this may seem mean and antisocial but she wasn't even out of bed yet), and I drove to Cervantes, a very small township about four or five hours down the coast. Cervantes has a quite nice beach which I spent an enjoyable half hour fooling around on, but the real attraction behind the town is the Pinnacles Desert, about a 20km drive away, and I went out there in the late afternoon/dusk (the recommended time if you want to take photos). It was very hard narrowing it down to only two photos because I took so many, but here they are:
It's small as deserts go - I could easily have walked around it - and it wasn't scorching hot, but the thing that makes this desert special is the eerie mounds that rise up out of it. Some are not big while others are about twice my height or more, but they all look very odd, perhaps like an army of trolls that got themselves turned to stone or some prehistoric aliens that found they couldn't live with earth's air. I really should have found out something about them and why they are how they are, but it's much more interesting to make something up, I think.
There was not a lot of choice at the Cervantes general store so for dinner on Monday night I ended up having chip sandwiches on the beach. Unhealthy, perhaps; uninteresting, perhaps; but very satisfying. And today (Tuesday) I drove back to Perth!
It seems like I've been away for days - probably the fault of all that driving. It didn't help that on Saturday when I was driving up to Kalbarri, I managed to get seriously lost on the Perth highways, taking the wrong exit about three times so it took me about three hours just to get out of the city. Silly me. Luckily, today, nothing went wrong, and I was back in Perth by lunchtime. And now, I'm eating marshmallows and recovering. :)