world domination

The World Domination Meme, thanks to Stacy:

You are offered one superhero power to help you take over the world (or the country of your choice). What would your superpower be and why?

My superpower would be the power to appear to each person as their greatest ideal, eg to be a sort of reverse Boggart. This would make everyone vote for me and think that I was democratically elected rather than a tyrannical dictator, and if I was careful, it would prohibit all forms of resistance.

Where will you establish your capital and why?

Unfortunately, I believe local domination is too small an aim; world domination alone can satisfy. Therefore, Christchurch is just too small and far away from everywhere to be the capital of my global empire as it is. All the same, I don't want to have it anywhere else because that would be an insult to the glory that is Christchurch. Therefore, I will have the South Island of New Zealand dug up, and towed to a more convenient location.

What would be your first official decree as a brand new dictator? Why?

I would announce a ban on rogaine, because it is a fallacy of a sport and a crime.

As a Great and Fearsome Leader, you will need to have the best people working for you. Who would work for you? (Feel free to use famous people, fictional characters, friends and family, or other people from the blogosphere in your answer.) What would their jobs be?

My Deputy will be Stacy, because she is obviously adept in handling minions and dominating the world. She will also understand that I am ruthless, can read minds, and that the moment she starts considering usurping me, being sent to the gulag will be the least of her worries.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh from Pride and Prejudice will be my Chief of Police because she is a seriously scary and ruthless old woman.

My entire family will be given high-paying jobs in government departments which involve hardly any work, because what is the use of dominating the world if you can't be a nepotist?

My niece Ruby will be my PR person because she is so cute that everyone will take one look at her and forget about the thousands toiling in the gulag that they had come to complain about.

Henry Tilney from Northanger Abbey will be the chaplain, because he's the coolest clergyman that has yet been seen in a novel.

Peter Jackson will be in charge of Propaganda. Bono and the Edge will set pro-Allie rhymes to music. Rachmaninov, Grieg and Mendelssohn will collaborate on pro-Allie symphonies and operas.

If you could make one annoying habit illegal in your empire, what would it be?

Wearing those condom-like hats that rappers wear in music videos.