The other night, in the ad breaks of another programme, I started watching a debate on Maori TV. It was in the Maori language, which I don't understand except for sporadic words, but it had subtitles, and I ended up jotting down some quotes because it was so what you would not see (or get away with) on any other TV channel!
The topic for debate was: A tribe's survival depends on a woman with balls.
Starting right there, I knew I was in for something special. And as the leader of the affirmative team (is that what you call it? I can't rememeber) said, confirming all my hopes: "I believe for a woman to be strong she must have balls. I can prove women have balls."
The other team, on the other hand, had a few gems up their sleeves:
"Women are the hair on men's legs."
"I know of matriarchs with balls, and they're crafty, crafty."
"If women stood on my marae*, my balls would drop."
"Women, there is a place for you, in the kitchen, looking after the tamariki."**
"A woman is a queen, a man is a god."
"Without balls, we wouldn't be here."
And my personal favourite insult directed towards the affirmative team - "You're all drunkards."
* A marae is a Maori meeting house. Certain tribes have quite strict etiquette restricting women from specific roles in a marae or in ceremonies.
** No points for guessing what tamariki means.
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