Friday, September 05, 2008

am I the antichrist?

I always get very irritable when the US elections come around again - no offence to American readers but if I have to read about politics every time I open a newspaper or magazine or watch the news, I prefer to be force-fed my own country's politics, which I actually have some say in.

But then I came across a Ship of Fools article. Ship of Fools is my favourite online Christian magazine, being subtitled "the magazine of Christian unrest", with its tongue firmly in cheek, and willing to laugh at the nuttier/scarier adherents to our faith out there.

This article asks the pertinent question: "Is Obama, like, the Antichrist?" Writer Steve Tomkins has done the rounds on a whole heap of blogs, which offer compelling evidence that Barack Obama is, in fact, the spawn of the Devil.

The Damning Evidence:
- "On the very day Obama became frontrunner in the election, we are told, the statue of Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro was struck by lightning."
- "Obama hails from Chicago whose zip code is 60606" - that's three sixes in a row!
- "Nostradamus prophesized the name of the antichrist is 'Mabus.' If you write obama+bush, you end up with obamabush. Do you spot 'mabus' in the middle? Bingo."
- "Obama could very well be the anti-christ, because he was born the year sodomy was decriminalized."
- Obama is left-handed, and "the Bible says that the Devil is left handed?" Yup. Sure.
- "The famous apocalyptic phrase 'Abomination of desolation' is an anagram of 'Obama in Sion, tool of end'."
- "Obama has said he hates Israel and Jews. Admires Hitler, Osama etc."

This was a huge shock for me. Not only had I believed Obama was no Satanist, I had also believed I had quite a good chance of being a Christian. How wrong I was!

- in the year 1986, when I was born, the first PC virus started to spread. There were earthquakes, fatal fires, and plane crashes. The Cold War was ongoing!
- on the 30th October, which is my birthday, Antioch surrendered to Muslim forces in AD 637!! Likewise, the day I was born is also known as "Devil's Night" in Michigan.
- My name, when rearranged, can also read "Satan Reclaimed Song" or "Satan Genocidal Rems"!!!
- My zip code, when multiplied by my driver's license number, divided by my street number, and then multiplied by 2.3479, becomes 666!!!!
Isn't that evidence enough?!


Sarakastic said...

Chicago has more than 55 area codes. In election years I always count how many times I get called the antichrist when someone approaches me & asks who I'm voting for. Right now I'm at seven but I'll probably get up to 666. Now I have to go make anagrams of my name.

Stacy said...

Okay, I'm taking you off my blog roll evil doer!

Trish Ryan said...

Heee...and I thought you were a cool chick from NZ :)

heidikins said...

Bwaaaah haaaa haaaa...this is awesome. My first address, when multiplied by the magnetic force of the earth and then divided by 2827 is 1616, which when added to the address of my current apartment *50*, is 1666...which is almost like 666....

I'm with Sarakastic...I must plot out anagrams!


LEstes65 said...

"...and then multiplied by 2.3479..."

Bah HAHAHAHAHA! You slay me!

But thank you for the warning. I once told Trish that I was always worried I'd be duped by the antichrist. So thank you for the heads up. I won't be duped now!