Thursday, April 07, 2005

help me!

I am lost in a pile of notes. I am trying to write an essay for my American literature class and it's VERY HARD. History is so much easier; you don't have to try to be philosophical or think about how to answer the question so much - at least, as far as I'm concerned!
This is the question:
"Explain how Kate Chopin's treatment of nature identifies The Awakening as a romantic novel and how it complicates this description of it."
Don't get me wrong, I like the book. But I just find this course so hard. I'm sick of all these mega-intellectual literary movements. I have a feeling it will end up like Calculus did last year - by the end of the year, I just wanted to pass. I didn't care about high marks. And passing wasn't such a huge big deal to me after a while anyway, because I had no desire to do any more Calculus in my life. But I suppose this is different - I'm definitely doing more English at uni. And I do want to do well. BUT. At some point I'm sure I'll begin asking myself if I really care that much, which is BAD BAD BAD. I must be optimistic. This is an opportunity for me to SHINE.
(Have you noticed I like colours today?!)

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

I feel depressed

I wrote a fanfic which I put on fanfiction.net - just a totally unrealistic yet fun story based on the characters of Pride and Prejudice. Well, apparently someone else on another website has written a story which is eerily similar to this one (they couldn't have copied me because they published it before me) and I'm being accused of copying by a reader. It's really depressing. If any of you write, you would understand how embarrassing it is, because the idea of copying someone else's writing is totally disgusting to anyone who writes seriously - as far as I'm concerned. I'm way too proud to do anything of the sort. I've said several times now, very strongly, that I didn't do it, but the girl says she's going to 'report me' to the person who wrote the other story. Although I don't really see what she could do (other than maybe get me banned from fanfiction.net?), it's really getting me down, and I feel really embarrassed, even though I didn't do anything wrong.