Wednesday, April 16, 2008

growing up

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart.

While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

When I was at school, I always felt a little older intellectually than most people in my class or year group. Especially boys - and I don't think that's uncommon at all!

Once I got to uni, however... for the last three years I've always felt a little behind where others are on most of the obvious levels. Let's say that practically I feel inexperienced. I haven't really had any serious relationships, up until this year I hated alcohol and would have no idea how to order myself a beer at a pub, I live at home with my father, I don't own a car, I came to uni straight from school whereas a lot of people in my classes spent a year abroad or doing other things first. So on and so forth.

Maybe these are all slightly superficial but it did make me feel different to most of the people around me at university. And I found it very strange if anyone ever called me a "woman" because I felt like I was hardly out of school. "Girl" was the more appropriate term.

This year, though - I think this is the first year I am beginning to feel like an adult. Not a lot of those obvious things have changed. I still live with my dad - but when I hear how huge the student loans are of my classmates who have flatted since they started uni, I really don't feel embarrassed. I still don't own a car. I am still almost completely inexperienced in lurve. (I write "lurve" because I'm still so immature it feels silly to write "love".) But this doesn't seem to matter so much now. I have good reasons for living at home; it's not just because I want to skive off my dad. I have good reasons for not buying a car; what would be the point if next year I left New Zealand? I think I know myself well enough now to not really care what other people might see in my circumstances, and I wonder if this is the beginning of maturity.

I still feel young. When I hear about an old school friend who is thinking about buying a house or a business, it still freaks me out. I still find it incredibly surprising that so many of my peers are getting married or having kids. But I don't feel like an awkward teenager anymore and I feel like I can make my own rules now. If you know what I mean. I can think about things like PhDs or careers without flipping out (almost). I've got a lot more growing up to do. But I'm starting to think that perhaps I won't be an awkward kid forever.


Sarakastic said...

I think I know myself well enough now to not really care what other people might see in my circumstances, and I wonder if this is the beginning of maturity.

Ok, so I know that you wrote that & I didn't, but gosh I wish I had. I think that makes you wise beyond your years.

LEstes65 said...

You sure as hell sound normal and mentally stable to me. But then, you're talking to someone who bailed college after her 3rd year (but with a GPA in the toilet). I'm also someone who worked in the same company for 21 yrs, starting on an almost bottom level and have worked up to be peers of most people who graduated with a degree. I married at 30, had my first kid at 34. I bought my first car in 2003 at the ripe old age of 38 (and still have it) - 3 months before having my 2nd kid. I bought my first house in 2005 at the ripe old age of 40.

My point is not that I'm OLD. But I am. My point is that there is no set time table. Most people who think there is tend to follow some life map they think they understand and end up pretty much in the same places as those of us that wait or flail or take another path. But I'll tell you what - I had much more interesting experiences in my lifetime than a lot of my peers that followed their maps.

I'm babbling.

~Virginia~ said...

I totally wish I'd lived at home longer than I did (and I moved out around 23). Could've saved myself a whole bunch of debt. Enjoy living with your dad as long as you can! :)

Beck said...

I think that not accumulating a huge amount of debt is actually a VERY mature thing to do - and not rushing into relationships is pretty darn mature, too. Being "grown up" turns out to be different than we originally thought it would be, I think.

Bonsai said...

lol... i think you're too mature to be a kid... i'll always be a kid at heart though XD wait whats this about you not buying a car because of potentially next year leaving new zealand??