Thursday, February 19, 2009

a question for the habitually single girls and for the girls who used to be habitually single

Warning - this post is so sickly that I know I will regret it in the morning.

So! I'm not in a relationship now, I haven't been in a relationship for years, and the only relationship (singular) I have ever been in is just too embarrassing to think about.

It doesn't freak me out or anything, I'm not ashamed of it, etc., etc.

However, I've always assumed things would change eventually. Maybe one day, in the near or distant future (I'm not too worried which), I'll meet someone whom I will fall madly in love with.

But I'm starting to worry that I have a heart of stone, or that I'm more in love with the idea of being in love than with any actual human being - ALL of whom annoy me or repulse me too much before I've even considered the idea of dating them, unless I work myself up into a frenzy of "maybe-I-have-a-crush-on-them" whenever they're not around. (Of course, as soon as I get in a 5 metre radius of them it becomes very clear that I'm not interested.)

Please tell me - does anyone else feel this way? Or those of you who have fallen in love, did you ever feel this way?


Stacy said...

I always feel that way. Which is probably not comforting given that I'm 30 and single.

Sarakastic said...

I too always feel this way. I think my problem is that I'm too easily annoyed & allergic to stupidity. I'm also probably not a huge source of comfort being almost 27 & single but I'd much rather be single than be with an idiot.

Trish Ryan said...

An alternative perspective is that you have a really good "chooser" and aren't distracted by random guys who wander by but aren't the one for you. This is a good thing (trust me!)

~Virginia~ said...

definitely better not to settle. i went through a long period of time when i was not only annoyed by guys, but i was a seriously fierce man-hater. couldn't stand any male being within 30 feet of me. a little extreme, yes. it slowly faded and in its place was a more discriminating person.

not every guy is date-worthy. and dating just to date is not good either. that's how i ended up dating a guy who instead of paying for the meal, walked out on the tab.

there's lots of crazies out there. and dating the crazies is just frustrating.

it'll get easier. :)

LEstes65 said...

I'm with Trish. And listen to Virginia - NEVER SETTLE. I will fly out there to personally kick your butt if you do.

If no one is special enough to make your heart flutter, God is saving you some major trouble. Like 17 years of it (or maybe that was just me).

Wait for what God will send you. Oh...and here's a key...ask God to send him. Ask him to send the perfect guy for you when you're ready for it. God rocks like that - he won't send Mr. Darcy until you're ready.

And on the more newly single front (after having settled and paying for it in divorce), I feel similar. But I think it's because my Mr. Darcy hasn't been sent by God yet. I like to think it's because God's still getting us tuned up for each other.

E. said...

Amen, amen, amen!! I feel exactly as you do, and agree with every other comment, too---but my roommate and I were talking about this very thing just this afternoon, so I'll add it here: you deserve exactly what you hope for. If you have an ideal, don't settle until you find him---and if that seems to take longer than everyone else, so be it. He'll be worth it, in the end.

The Captain said...

panic not dear allie. settling's for sucks. love will come when you least expect it. and when you feel it you'll know it;s real. and ps - who's counting? days, weeks, months, years of singleness are like counting facebook friends - pointless! it's how you live that matters. single, married, whatever. remember the grass is always greener. and enjoy yourself.