thoughts

I have been making a scrapbook of sorts of my mother. I went and copied about twenty photos, spanned throughout her life, and put them in a book with pretty coloured paper and all that stuff, alternated with the tributes from people at her funeral, or letters from people that knew her really well before I did, and so on. At the back I glued in all the cards I've been sent so far. It was one of those things that I get the idea for and in a rush of feverish action, I do it all in one day.

I'm finding it all so weird at the moment. I don't feel sad at all most of the time. I don't feel at all like I feel I should. Sometimes, I feel a slight twinge or two--like when my brother-in-law John, who is one of my favourite people, sent Dad and I a card, because he wasn't able to come from Australia to the funeral. It was just a really lovely card and for some reason I got a bit upset over that. And then another time, my friend Sarah, who is one of my very best friends, gave me a photo of me and her that she'd kind of stuck in a pretty card and written on the back, because she's leaving soon for two years, to go to Samoa and do her DTS (Discipleship Training School, with YWAM [Youth With A Mission]). That was really nice too and it almost made me cry but I can't really figure out why it's these isolated incidents. And there was one more time too, I got a card a couple of days after Mum died, which was from my old workmates at Spreydon Library, and I had no idea they even knew. I really think it will take me a long time to ... understand what's happened, and to understand what effect it's going to have on me, and what life's going to be like without Mum.

It's funny, when people treat me as if I'm some grieving, desolated mourner, I feel the most like I'm not. And I wish they'd stop it, yet I kind of appreciate the attention. :S

Well, anyway, today's photo is of the Alpine Memorial in Mount Cook National Park, when my friend Eva and I travelled there and did the Hooker Valley Track. Mount Cook itself (the biggest mountain in the southern hemisphere) was behind me as I took the photo, and I was looking back down that particular valley towards Lake Pukaki.

A girl has just started coming to my church who is doing her first year at uni next year, and doing exactly the same courses as I did, for English and History--and, we found out that both of us want to be authors! It's always really nice to meet someone else like that. It's funny when you do, you both take a little glance at each other and realise you're really quite similar.

Patty, thanks so much for putting me on your links. I would do the same but I can't really figure out exactly how to! There doesn't seem to be a way to make a "blogs I enjoy" list in my editing profile information. Any advice? Oh yeah, and five hours--yep, it's a long time, but it's definitely worth it. Colin Firth is Amazing.