Sunday, May 06, 2007

a series of little things

Firstly, today I met someone I used to go to school with who made me immediately want to make a list of some of the weird people I've met. Hopefully not in a mean way. Simply people who did slightly odd things.

Of course, he will come first. He somehow managed to be one of the cool guys at school, because he was always doing things like lighting the sink in one of the science labs on fire, or running around trying to wave dissected rats in the faces of squeamish girls (or boys), or making fart noises with his armpits. The incident I will always remember, however, was when he came to school one day with a broken arm in a sling. When we asked him how he did it, it turned out he was sleeping on the driveway and his mum drove over his arm.
Another weird thing that happened a few months ago - my friend Sarah and I were sitting in the sun at uni when a young Japanese male came up to Sarah, ignoring me completely, and sat down, telling her he loved her and wanted to be her friend. Sarah is very small and blonde and blue-eyed, while I am darker and tend to clump around - so I could have been offended but actually it was more funny than friendship-destroying. He ripped a few daisies out of the ground, and gave them to her as if he'd bought a $50 bouquet of red roses, saying, simply, "For you! A token of my love." Then he proceeded to ask her why she couldn't go to a party with him that evening, or see him the next day, or the next, to tell her he wanted to find the love of his life, to ask how to meet Kiwi girls, etc etc etc. He wouldn't give up! It was very weird! Soon we found out that he was returning to Japan in three days, so I'm not exactly sure what he wanted out of the 'love of his life'. Maybe he'd heard Kiwi girls are easy or something, as long as you profess eternal love for them. Finally she repulsed him, and recommended he look for Kiwi girls in front of the library where a lot of people sit, and we watched him making his way over to the next poor victim who sat reading in the sun.

Secondly, has anyone seen the secret on PostSecret this week where someone admits that they are afraid Jesus will return before they get to read the last Harry Potter book? I thoroughly identify with that person. That's my kind of secret.

Thirdly, on JenKneeBee's prompting, I went and played MASH on this site. What fun! My friends went through a craze of making up really dire possibilities for this game in high school. No, we never really grew up. These are my results which I thought quite amusing:

You will live in a Shack.

You will drive a Red Toyota Starlet.

You will marry Voldemort and have 20 kids.

You will be a Street sweeper in Chechnya.

And lastly, I have a new sponsored child. His name is Okwenye and he is thirteen and from Uganda.


JenKneeBee said...

Marrying Voldemort? You're so going to be dead as soon as you give him a child. Yikes!

Trish Ryan said...

Awww...your sponsored child sounds awesome - far better than reproducing w/Voldemort! I'd guess that if you stick with the first option, you're far more likely to make it through that last Harry Potter book before Jesus comes back :)

Stacy said...

If you marry Voldemort, you'll get to meet a lot of weird people to add to your list.

Dissecting rats? How revolting. I've only dissected frogs and fetal pigs.

LEstes65 said...

You need to write to Okwenye and explain to him that he should never sleep in the driveway.

The Japanese guy looking for his life love Kiwi girl just cracked me up.

ellesappelle said...

JenKneeBee, Trish: ye-es, but at least Voldemort is fictional :)

Stacy: Our school usually only did rat dissection although once I got to dissect a pregnant pig! I have a friend whose old school was on the coast and they got a neverending supply of feral cats killed by the conservation department who would otherwise be killing penguins.

Lynette: I actually got out my phone surreptitiously at one point in the course of the conversation with this guy and recorded it, just because it was so funny.

Bonsai said...

ooooooooo aaaaaaawesome!!!!!! i want that recording from your phone. hey was i on your weird list?? was i was i was i?? i was wasnt i, dont lie now!! *grins* what would you have said about me?? *poke*