who said that students eat badly?

Flatting is fun. Why?

Because at birthday times, we get to do silly things like make a hundred-odd cupcakes and decorate them garishly.


And then to eat them all!

who the heck?

Every time I've looked up my Statcounter page for this website recently, under "Keyword Analysis" I see that rather a lot of people have come to my blog looking for Rockell Welch.

Who the heck is Rockell Welch?

And what sort of name is that?

And when did I ever mention him/her/it?

world travel without leaving your home

The highlight of having a new MacBook should be its operating system or its tiny lightweight design or its freedom from virus attack... but for me, it's the COMPLETELY FUN Photo Booth application!! And it got me thinking - all the agonising I've been doing about which European destination I should visit in September, and yet I don't really need to go at all! The world is at my fingertips here in Christchurch, and given that tourism these days seems to consist of getting photos of yourself in cool destinations, why leave home? Here I am in:

Athens. What an amazing place. Just so... amazing.

Here I am in Vienna. Notice my change in outfit for the colder clime. Try to refrain from noticing the not-so-perfect computer graphics.

And in Venice. My gosh, what a stunning spot; it was like my camera was permanently attached to my face.

After Venice I went a little further down the Italian coast to Amalfi. Where I sat on a roof for this photo. Highly recommended.

And here I am in Switzerland, marvelling at the Jungfrau. I did try braiding my hair for this location but it made me look like an eight-year-old so instead you can see how utterly blown away I am by this spectacular place.

Prague. I can't even try to explain what it's like to be in Prague. When you've been there, you'll understand. 

And here I am in Ephesus, Turkey. I'm not sure if the Apostle Paul ever imagined me standing here doing the V sign that all tourists seem to do...

In Red Square, Moscow. It was pretty cold, so it was lucky I brought my woolly hat, right?

Then on the way home, I popped back over to England, and happened to run into Jane Austen! What a coincidence. It doesn't exactly look like it in this photo, but she and I are good chums.

I feel extravagant

This is my new best friend:

and I love her/him!!!

Any suggestions for a name?

My Traumatic Near-Death Experience

So, about two weeks ago I started noticing that my hands were slightly blue at times, especially night-time. I remembered having problems with bad circulation and numbness in my hands causing the same problem back when I was 14 and had RSI in my arms, and assumed I must be coming close to getting RSI again. I showed my sister and brother-in-law, who are doctors, but they had no idea what was going on.

Imagine my horror when I got into the shower one night and noticed... MY THIGHS WERE BLUE!!! Great Scott, this can't be RSI! What dread disease have I?

Freaking out a little, I told my flatmates, who were just as mystified as me. I wasn't sure what to do but decided to leave it for a little while and if it continued, to visit a doctor and find out what life-threatening malady I suffered from.

Then, I noticed something about the white towel I had used that night - it had blue marks on it. Okay, so that can't be my skin turning blue or my blood turning blue or something if it rubs off, right?

And then I had my brainwave - NEW JEANS! Jeans, furthermore, which hadn't been washed yet at the time. Relief! The denim of my new jeans had left blue marks on me, and being bootlegged, had only affected my thighs. Silly me! Hahaha!

But still, my hands were bothering me. It was obviously a completely different issue. Besides, the blue on my hands didn't really wash off, or if it disappeared after washing, it was only because the hot water had heated my hands up.

Until I realised about a week later, when I gave my blue hands a really good scrubbing with cold water and the blue did come off, how much I pull my hands in and out of the pockets of my jeans... oh, oops. How embarrassing. Now my flatmates think I'm a hypochondriac and my sister and brother-in-law have another embarrassing story to bring up at family gatherings.

By the way - this happens to be my 500th post. :) That's quite a lot of them, really. Please ignore the first couple of hundred.

reasons to be happy

Norwester sunsets.

Christchurch's norwest winds can be horrible in summer, but when they produce an atmosphere like they did last night, when I was walking home from the mall gazing at a sunset that looked like something out of a Renaissance painting or like how you imagine Jesus' return... I love 'em!

Brisk walking.My two gorgeous nieces who have just moved back to Christchurch. SO much fun to spend time with them (they are aged two, and eleven months respectively).

Dreaming up places to go in Europe.

My Masters topic. I LOVE it!! Finally, I am fully motivated.

Chicken katsu, which I had last night at the mall before walking home as the sun set.

The Scissor Sisters' song "I Don't Feel Like Dancing". This song makes me HAPPY! I listened to it last night as I walked along the road watching the sun set. :) Do you sense a pattern here?

Autumn! Especially on campus, which is full of ugly buildings but lots and lots of trees. You don't even notice all the concrete in autumn because the trees are so glorious.

Book shopping. Especially at Christchurch's old Smith's Bookshop on Colombo Street. That place is exactly how secondhand bookshops should be!

Related to autumn : crunchy leaves to step on. Deep satisfaction!

[NB: None of these photos are mine except the nieces one.]

adventure

Eeeee! I'm going to Europe! Suddenly it has become a reality.

Okay, so something could go horribly wrong and it might not happen and it's still months away (probably September) and I really shouldn't be planning this early - and still, I'm excited!

I'll be spending most of my time studying hard in one archive in London and another in Brighton, but I'll have several weekends free, and hopefully if I can afford it I might tack a little extra time onto the end.

One weekend will be spent in Bath at the Jane Austen Festival - that's non-negotiable! Probably another weekend will be spent somewhere else in the UK. And then I have one weekend (maybe two if I'm very, very lucky) to dispose of in continental Europe or Scandinavia - eeeeeeee!!!

This creates a problem. I have to choose one (maybe two) destinations in the whole of Europe. Here's some of the options (and given that this trip is still about five months away, I will probably find a few more to pop into the mix). What do you think? What would YOU choose? Have you been to any of these places? Would you recommend any additions to the list? (Bear in mind that I will be going in early autumn.) In no particular order:

Vilnius, Lithuania

It was my brother-in-law's favourite place in Europe. That's quite a call to make.
Venice, Italy
I mean, just look at that photo!

St. Petersburg, Russia

Um, well, I'm doing Russian history, and I'm learning the Russian language... seems like a sensible choice!

Rome, Italy

The Colosseum, opera, the Vatican...

Salzburg, Austria

The home of Mozart and The Sound of Music! Poor Salzburg, there's probably much more to it than that...

Prague, Czech Republic

I've just heard so many good things about Prague - can all those people be wrong?

Pompeii, Italy

This was number one on my list of places I must see before I die. I have to admit it's pretty high up there on this list.

Nuremberg, Germany

History!!! Beauty!! HIIIISTORY!!!!

Munich, Germany

Ditto!

Istanbul, Turkey

I know this is pushing the boundaries of Europe, but I think it's close enough, don't you?
Iceland

Alone among all the destinations, I could not decide on what photo to use for this country, so I ended up choosing two - type "Iceland" into google images and you will be blown away by stunning landscape after stunning landscape. I couldn't even pick one location in the whole country!

Bergen, Norway
I've wanted to go to Norway for ages. It's all because of Grieg and Roald Dahl.

Ephesus, Turkey
HISTORY!!!! Going to see things I've read about in the Bible all my life? Pretty amazing!

Budapest, Hungary
A friend once sent me a text message from Budapest that went something like this: "I'm in Budapest, it's snowing and it looks exactly like a fairy tale!" I've never been able to forget the intense jealousy I felt at the time.

Bern, Switzerland

or alternatively a train trip through the Swiss Alps...
Either sound good to me!

Athens, Greece

How could this not be on my list?

Later additions:

Bruges, Belgium

Vienna, Austria

Cracow, Poland

Florence, Italy

Dubrovnik, Croatia

why everything is extraordinary and statistics are pointless

Have you ever considered the long line of people who went before you? Sometimes I think about all the possibilities... what if my great-great-grandfather had decided to stay in England instead of coming out to New Zealand, and what if the philanthropic German Count had decided against sending a bunch of German peasants, including my great-great-great-grandfather and -grandmother, to New Zealand? Henry wouldn't have met Mary Ann, and Ernst wouldn't have met Anna. Children would not have followed, and I would not have been here today.

What if my grandmother had died at an early age of a fever? In the grand scheme of things, imagine all the people who could have died along the way and mucked up the lineage that produced Me?! World history seems to be littered with wars, famine, sickness, and accidents, let alone chance meetings that could have resulted in different couplings that could have resulted in different children who would not have produced Me!

I'm making it sound a little ridiculous, I think, and I'm not saying that history has been working with one single purpose - the production of me. :) Of course, given all these accidents, wars, and sickness, perhaps I am a ghastly mistake - let's hope not.

But hasn't the thought occurred to you? The thought of the odds that were stacked against you appearing on this planet at all?

This is why I think statistics are a completely useless way to predict the future. What does it matter if you have X% chance of living past a certain age, or X% chance of not getting a divorce, or X% chance of avoiding cancer? Simply the fact that we are here at all is an infinitely unlikely chance. The odds are stacked just as high against us meeting a man called Edgar or stepping on a cockroach tomorrow as they are against us succeeding in something we set our minds to - and yet we meet Edgar and we squash a cockroach and we think nothing of it.

It's late at night and I'm not sure if this is coming across very clearly. What I'm trying to say is: everything is extraordinary. Especially if we have a chance to get used to it. Statistics may have some inherent logic, and some proof in the practicalities of life, but as far as our own lives go, they have no way of telling us where we fit into the statistics. They're like tarot cards with a scientific veneer.

warning - may contain long-winded whinging

Those of you who are friends with me on facebook will probably have thought that my status updates for the last little while are really quite whingey, and if you're not from New Zealand, you probably won't have a clue what I'm complaining about. "Allie wonders if Studylink was set up simply to distract students from their study." "Allie should be awarded a diploma in negotiating with government and university departments over a long period of time and managing to stay calm." I've joined a facebook group that is called: "Dealing with Studylink is more challenging than my degree."

Those who have to live with me have also noticed a peculiar level of aggression in their flatmate. I emerge from my room at odd times, knock on their door, and proceed to tell them everything that has managed to go wrong with my enrolment, and now with my Studylink applications. I make phone calls to Studylink, and after hanging up, start screaming or grinding my teeth in a menacing fashion.

For those lucky readers of this blog who don't have to deal with New Zealand universities or government departments, Studylink is the department of the government that deals with student loans and student allowances. Yes, I get free money from the government for part of my living costs, because my parent earns under a certain threshold. Technically, I should be very thankful to Studylink for providing me with funds, and I am...

And yet, in reality, my student allowance is my legal entitlement. And Studylink have managed to muck up my application in just about every possible way this year.

First of all, my enrolment with the university took a ridiculously long time (not Studylink's fault). The entire History department had to approve my proposal before I could even get enrolled, and once that was approved, my enrolment was lost somewhere in the computer system of the College of Arts. After four or so weeks of waiting (living off my savings and borrowing from my father), the enrolment finally went through. Hooray! Now I can start eating again!

Or so I thought.

First, Studylink claimed that I still wasn't enrolled. Back and forth, back and forth, between the university and Studylink - finally, they admit I am a student.

Second, Studylink claimed that I wasn't a full-time student, and therefore am not entitled to my allowance. [If doing a Masters degree PLUS an undergraduate course in Russian doesn't make you full-time, I don't know what does.] After several phone calls, they told me just to wait, and it would get sorted out in the next few days.

Next, after several more phone calls, they told me I had to make two separate applications for the one student allowance - one application for my Russian course, and one application for my MA. In my second application, I have to send in all the same information again - my father's income, proof of money I'll be receiving - even though I've sent in the exact same information for my other application.

So it looks like I won't be receiving student allowance this week. Seven weeks into the semester, and Studylink + the university have managed to muck up almost every aspect of my enrolment. I am hundreds of dollars in debt because I haven't had the means to pay for my rent/food, and I am stressed and ready to rip my hair out when I should be studying.

When I am a dictator, I am going to reform bureaucracy or just get rid of it altogether. That alone will give me total power because everyone will love me for it.

Sorry about the long whinge. I really needed to get that off my chest.

taking a deep breath and calming down

Why I am now feeling happier than I was on Wednesday:

- I am actually researching a fascinating topic. Took me a while to remember that, but now that my terror has cattle-prodded me into working hard, I am starting to get really excited.

- I am not stupid; I simply am TEACHABLE. A whole lot of empty space in my head is not a bad thing. It means I have a mind that is open to different possibilities and not decided already on one conclusion.

- I actually already know a lot about my topic, given that I looked at a very similar area last year, and so I am in a much better place than most other Masters students at the same stage as me.

- Being a florist is not as romantic as I had thought. Thanks to all the sensible people who commented on my last post, pointing out all the cons of getting up early, dealing with bridezillas, slicing one's hand open with thorns, etc.

- Some people want to give me money to study. They can't be completely mistaken in my abilities, because people don't give away money generously without being very careful about it.

- Although this stage of my study (reading what everyone else has written about this subject) is not always very fun or rewarding, the stage that comes next, and takes up most of my time (looking at primary documents) will be FANTASTIC. I hope.

SOS

Please, blogosphere, send me some love. I am feeling really, really dumb, and I have an impending sense of doom about the year ahead of me.

I have just sent my sister this text message: "Masters is HORRIBLE. I don't know how you got through a PhD. I just feel so stupid!"

She replied: "You've made it. That's the whole objective."

Why, why, didn't I become a florist? It was a perfectly reasonable fantasy. No, I had to do the "sensible" thing and come to university.

Meanwhile, I am drowning my sorrows in:

wine and Whittaker's hazelnut chocolate;

while cooking - rhubarb pie, my favourite.

It wasn't supposed to get burnt but it still tasted goooood, and made me feel slightly better.

accidental fortuitous irregularity

The word "random" being so 2001, this is a list of 25 Haphazard Things About Me or Somehow Related to Me or What I Am Thinking About Now. (Okay, so "haphazard" is not a perfect synonym, but that's all the thesaurus had. Neither is it a catchy little title. No excuses in that case.)

1. I used to play in a recorder quintet in Perth, Australia. The people whose house we practised in had a budgie who could whistle Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture, and the budgie frequently joined in while we played.

2. I should be studying harder. But I'm not. It's going to take me a while to master this Masters thing (actually no pun intended) of self-motivated study.

3. I am listening to the new U2 album right now! No Line on the Horizon. I love it so far! My feeling is: still U2 produced by Brian Eno, but a developing sound. Contemporary but not too overtly fashionable. Very listenable. Rough-edged, which is how I like it. Creative vocals.

4. There is a guy at my church who is very goodlooking, in a very unconventional way. Although he's a very nice guy, we don't have much in common and I'm not interested, so there's no need for me to start behaving oddly, but it is nice to have some man candy around. Is that sexist?

5. I am hoping that this year I will be able to visit the UK for research purposes - there are two archives I would love to visit, one in London and one in Brighton. I won't be able to afford to do much stuff or stay for long but I'm hoping I'll have at least one or two weekends free to see something, and I've wanted to go to Bath for a long time, so that goes straight to the top of the list...

6. ... and, as it turns out, very fortuitously, at precisely the time I am planning to be in the UK (September), the Jane Austen Centre of Bath is holding a JANE AUSTEN FESTIVAL!!! And, one of my best friends, who is a big Austen fan too, will be in the UK at the same time, exploring a little before she starts working in France! I think that constitutes clear guidance - I must go to the UK in September!

7. My name in Cyrillic alphabet is: ЭЛЕЙ

8. I have a god-daughter.

9. I keep having dreams about this one guy that I used to work with, and I can't figure out why. I actually told him about the first one of them, in which I got married to him and then he left me the next day for a man. He found it hilariously funny. But I thought it might be a bit much to try to explain why I've had at least five dreams featuring him since then.

10. I am currently reading The Screwtape Letters, by C. S. Lewis. Good book.

11. I have eleven nieces and nephews, all of whom I love very much but have taught me a lot. Namely, that parenthood is not something to be entered into lightly.

12. I tire easily of making lists and 25 is just too big a number. Let's make it twelve.

shameless self-promotion

Halfway Down the Stairs, the online writing magazine of which Stacy and I are editors, is out again!

This issue is themed "Twists of Fate" and is our biggest issue yet. Although I obviously liked all the fiction in there, as I am one of the people who decides whether we accept it or not, there is some work by our guest authors that I really think is brilliant writing, and we are privileged to be able to publish it. I hope you enjoy it!

on the radio

Five songs that I am loving at the moment.


"Get on your boots", U2.
Obviously I was always going to be excited by a new U2 single but I am not at all disappointed by this one, if that means anything! They're not losing It as they get older, in my opinion, yet neither are they doing quite the same old thing. It'll be exciting to see what the album's like.

"The Fear", Lily Allen.
It's great to see that Lily Allen is bringing us more of her quirky, irreverent and honest music but also developing her sound. I love the first single off her album - it's either incredibly ironic or incredibly self-aware, or maybe a little of both. I love that she can say things that are so much more interesting than the average pop song but she says them in such a fun way.
"Single Ladies", Beyoncé

I'm not normally a fan of Beyoncé, nor a fan of dancey-type music (unless we're talking ABBA) - but for some strange reason I love this song. It took me a while. At first whenever I heard it I wondered why on earth Beyoncé would record such a strange song, but now I really enjoy it every time I hear it. The video is also very cool.

"American Boy", Estelle feat. Kanye West
I think this has been around for a while now but I'm still listening to it avidly. This is such a cool British sort of hip hop - funky, carefree, restrained... One of the few songs featuring Kanye West in which I can see what all the fuss is about.

"My Delirium", Ladyhawke

This is a music style called "indie-disco" by iTunes (I personally wouldn't have a clue what it is!) that I find really interesting and fun, and I love this, Ladyhawke's second single. Good driving music, I would guess. Also a great, creative video. I would love to get the whole album, actually.

another meme

Remember the "YOUR NAME needs" meme? Here it is again, extended! [Just to set the record straight - I did not create this meme but borrowed it from elsewhere.] I typed the following beginnings into Google and found some interesting endings...

1. Allie looks like:
- a flat faced chicken.
- she's gone ten rounds with an unfriendly and lost.
- a cute little girl but also projects a calmness.

2. Allie likes:
- the new bookshelf. (very true)
- High School Musical. (untrue)
- balloons. (well, who doesn't?)

3. Allie says:
- keep our ears clean.
- everybody wants a thrill.
- she's not worried about the criticism.

4. Allie wants:
- to be in the Olympics. What child doesn't?
- you to be happy with every item you purchase. (Money back guarantee)
- to stay healthy, instead of eating peanuts. (Because peanuts are The ultimate temptation?)

5. Allie does:
- South America!
- the weather in a Spanish school project.
- nothing but play forum games all day long.

6. Allie hates:
- the vacuum cleaner. (So true)
- some of you. (Lies! All lies!)
- posers.

7. Allie can:
- run. (Like the wind. A really slow wind.)
- cater to almost any need BUT HEALTH ISSUES. Please do not request a spell for anything medical.
- convince you it's 8am when it's only 2:30am. (A useful skill, that.)

8. Allie goes:
- blonde.
- to the zoo.
-on strike, feeling overworked and underappreciated.

9. Allie is:
- tiniest little worker for God.
- a white flag.
- fat, illiterate.

10. Allie loves:
- dirt.
- the Isle of Skye.
- you, baby doll.

Pilgrims' Progress

I think I've blogged about this blog before, but once again I just have to share it with you all - Pilgrims' Progress is a blog written by a Kiwi family who are travelling the world on the cheap for a year. This may sound even more amazing when I mention the fact that they have eight children. Look up their blog for explanation on how it is being done, and how it is afforded, but their most recent post makes me want to drop everything and go to China. Check it out.

I am in the throes of a headcold at the moment. It makes me very depressed. Couple this with the fact that the university is mucking up my enrolment, yet again, and I may be living on my overdraft for the next month, and I am STRESSED. Pilgrims' Progress makes for a moment of glorious escapism - but it's all true.

(By the way, to see the text on this blog I have to scroll down quite a lot. It may be the same for you - don't give up! The blog IS there!)

a question for the habitually single girls and for the girls who used to be habitually single

Warning - this post is so sickly that I know I will regret it in the morning.

So! I'm not in a relationship now, I haven't been in a relationship for years, and the only relationship (singular) I have ever been in is just too embarrassing to think about.

It doesn't freak me out or anything, I'm not ashamed of it, etc., etc.

However, I've always assumed things would change eventually. Maybe one day, in the near or distant future (I'm not too worried which), I'll meet someone whom I will fall madly in love with.

But I'm starting to worry that I have a heart of stone, or that I'm more in love with the idea of being in love than with any actual human being - ALL of whom annoy me or repulse me too much before I've even considered the idea of dating them, unless I work myself up into a frenzy of "maybe-I-have-a-crush-on-them" whenever they're not around. (Of course, as soon as I get in a 5 metre radius of them it becomes very clear that I'm not interested.)

Please tell me - does anyone else feel this way? Or those of you who have fallen in love, did you ever feel this way?

come together

I have done this kind of meme once before, but decided it was high time for another musical meme after seeing on facebook the meme of a fellow blogger who shall remain nameless but who knows who she is (gosh this is getting complex). And this one does have different questions!

What does your music library say about you?

Put Your iTunes, winamp, mp3 player or whatever on SHUFFLE.
For each question, press the next button to get your answer (no cheating).
You must write down song/artist even if it doesn't make sense.
Include any comments in parenthesis.

1. What do your friends say about you? "Rockstar", Nickelback. (A more unlikely answer I have yet to see.)

2. How would your coworkers describe you? "Here I Am to Worship", Tim Hughes

3.How would you describe yourself? "Afloat", Evermore

4. What do you like in a romantic partner? "You're the One that I Want", John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John

5. How do you feel today? "Hurt", Johnny Cash

6. What is your life’s purpose? "Break it to Pieces", Freestyle

7.What is your motto? "I Will Follow Him", from Sister Act

8. What do you think about the most? "Yesterday", the Beatles (I love this, given that I am a history student)

9. What are you going to do on your next vacation? "Rumanian Folk Dances", Bartok (I wish)

10.What do you think of your first love/date? "For Unto Us a Child is Born", from Messiah (huh?)

11. What is your life story? "Still Alive", [my big brother] (Haha - that's a real testimony, isn't it?)

12. What did you do yesterday? "Love Me Like the World is Ending", Ben Lee

13. What do you think of when you see the person you like/love? "Sexual Revolution", Macy Gray (okaaaay)

14. What describes your wedding? "In memoriam", from Les Choristes (uh-oh...)

15. What will they play at your funeral? "Everloving", Moby

16. What is your obsession? "La Vie en Rose", Louis Armstrong

17. What is your biggest fear? "Weep You No More Sad Fountains", from Sense and Sensibility

18. What is your biggest secret? "Persuasion", Tim Finn

19. What is your biggest turn-on? "Ain't No Sunshine", Bill Withers (well, this was always going to be a weird answer, wasn't it?)

20. How do you describe your friends? "The Carnival of the Animals," Saint-Saens (I love this one)

21. What would you do with a million dollars? "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For", U2

22. What is your opinion of sex? "La désillusion", from Les Choristes (another uh-oh)

23. What is your biggest regret? "Six Months in a Leaky Boat", Split Enz

24. What would you rather be doing right now? "I Love Paris", Ella Fitzgerald

25. What will you post this list as? "Come Together", Third Day

I tag anyone who wants to be tagged!